The loss of a child..

This is a poem I came across, it was touching though.. I thought some of you may enjoy it.
It might give some readers out there strength too

I THOUGHT OF YOU AND CLOSED MY EYES; AND PRAYED TO GOD TODAY
I ASKED WHAT MAKES A MOTHER AND I KNOW I HEARD HIM SAY....
"A MOTHER HAS A BABY, THIS WE KNOW IS TRUE."
BUT GOD, CAN YOU BE A MOTHER, WHEN YOUR BABY'S NOT WITH YOU?"
YES, YOU CAN" HE REPLIED WITH CONFIDENCE IN HIS VOICE.
"I GIVE MANY WOMEN BABIES, WHEN THEY LEAVE IS NOT THEIR CHOICE.
SOME I SEND FOR A LIFETIME; AND OTHERS FOR A DAY
AND SOME I SEND TO FEEL YOUR WOMB; BUT THERE'S NO NEED TO STAY.
"I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS, GOD, I WANT MY BABY HERE.
HE TOOK A BREATH AND CLEARED HIS THROAT; AND THEN, I SAW A TEAR.
"I WISH I COULD SHOW YOU, WHAT YOUR CHILD IS DOING TODAY.
IF YOU COULD SEE YOUR CHILD SMILE WITH OTHER CHILDREN AND SAY:
WE GO TO EARTH TO LEARN OUR LESSON'S OF LOVE AND LIFE AND FEAR,
MY MOMMY LOVED ME OH SO MUCH, I GOT TO COME STRAIGHT HERE...
I FEEL SO LUCKY TO HAVE A MOM, WHO HAD SO MUCH LOVE FOR ME
I LEARNED MY LESSON VERY QUICKLY, MY MOMMY SET ME FREE.
I MISS MY MOMMY OH SO MUCH; BUT I VISIT HER EACH DAY.
WHEN SHE GOES TO SLEEP, ON HER PILLOW IS WHERE I LAY
I STROKE HER HAIR AND KISS HER CHEEK, AND WHISPER IN HER EAR.
MOMMY, DON'T BE SAD TODAY, I'M YOUR BABY AND I'M HERE."
SO, YOU SEE, MY DEAR SWEET ONE, YOUR CHILDREN ARE OKAY
YOUR BABIES ARE HERE IN MY HOME; AND THIS IS WHERE THEY'LL STAY.
THEY'LL WAIT FOR YOU WITH ME, UNTIL YOUR LESSON IS THROUGH.
AND ON THE DAY THAT YOU COME HOME; THEY'LL BE AT THE GATES FOR YOU.
SO, NOW YOU SEE WHAT MAKES A MOTHER, IT'S THE FEELING IN YOUR HEART
IT'S THE LOVE YOU HAD SO MUCH OF; RIGHT FROM THE VERY START.
THOUGH SOME ON EARTH MAY NOT REALIZE ,YOU ARE A MOTHER
THEY'LL BE UP WITH ME ONE DAY; AND THEY'LL KNOW YOU'RE THE BEST ONE EVER."

It was such a touching piece..I m sure anyone who would have a heart would have broken down needless to say a tear or two is its due right. The motive is though these sentiments are not such that can be penned down in words, it takes the real sense of feeling and setiment to sink in the agony..loosing one's child..born or unborn is the most disastrous of all events in the life of a woman. From the moment the existence begins in the womb of the mother it is a whole living life, an entity for her, though it is only after some time that the organism is considered as a living but for a mother- for a mother it was always and will be a living being regardless of what any one has to say, the baby is the mother’s subsistence, a part of her flesh and blood. It’s a dream a girl forever nurtures in her thoughts, intentionally or intentionally because God has made the woman’s nature like that in her childhood she tends dolls..calls them her children and sees to it that she can take everlasting care of it, slowly these dreams metamorphose into mature ones in which the girl becomes the role model and care taker of her own dreams, tending and taking care of her own young ones. And then one day suddenly she realizes the shattering of those dreams, the dreams she has so fondly given birth to, silently nurtured and quietly and secretly tended with her imaginations and immense love, in a sudden darkness and deepening deafness she hears the breaking of the very glass, her heart and all the images she carried within torn and broken into a hundred and thousand little pieces on each piece she hears the clattering of dew drops from her eyes, she cries tears of blood at this very loss. This only thing that was her’s and hers alone is no longer a part of her entity, her urge, her wish to hold an individual some day is no longer hers..it’s lost somewhere…deep in the woods of solitude and loneliness..a lost wood where no one can hear her cries and no one can feel her pain save she alone. Though it might be a little difficult to gather, but still I’d like to add that this might not be the end of the world, after all God is not heartless, he has a heart that is more sensitive than any human and that pains at the sight of seeing his people hurt. He knows what is best for us all and I am sure that there is something even worthier in store for us all..more happiness, long lasting than this one of course waiting for us , a new life opening its arms and standing wide..inviting us to propel forward in this very new direction. This is a word of solace of condolence to all those empty hearted and empty armed mothers or mothers would be, this is not the end, in fact this is a whole new beginning, an entirely new facet and just keep your hopes to God, keep your faith in him and then one fine day there will come a new morn, a new awakening when God will return your happiness doubled or even more InshaAllah..just keep your trust in him only, he sure will tell you the wayI’d rather say to take it optimistically in this way that : “Death isn't the end but a new begining, one doesn't have to say goodbye, they simply say hello in a whole new way...”
Psychiatrists suggest some really good methods to combat the trauma as most people sink into depression that they might never otherwise be able to diagnose for themselves. Here are a few random advices I thought penning down was worth it.

- Join a support group. Whether it is online or in person. There are also some
Wonderful groups on the internet. - Is there a trusted friend with whom you can talk to? Also if you can find even one friend who is willing to listen to you, it will help.

- Write a farewell letter or an eulogy to your young one. It might take one several days to write one but it might really offer catharsis to some unsaid emotions.- Can you see a counselor or therapist? You might need one unless you find some really morbid symptoms coming your way or people around you notice abnormality in your behavior.

People will tell you that you are lucky to have other kids. Only a mother that loses a baby will know otherwise. You might have a dozen more, but you will always miss the one you have lost. But this is where you have to be courageous, I’d rather say to take it optimistically in this way that : “Death isn't the end but a new beginning, one doesn't have to say goodbye, they simply say hello in a whole new way...”

Give me..

Give me the freedom to see, I want to see beyond what hides the horizon
Give me the freedom to talk, I’ll tell you what lies between the truth and lie,
Give me the depth to think, I might change the face of the world,
Give me the resistance to hold on my breathe, I want to breathe air without effluence,
Give me the heart to endure pains so that I can bury deep in its walls my tears,
Give me the chimes of the bells so that I can implant the melody into a lost smile,
Give me the patience to wait so that I wait endlessly for things that are not meant for me,
Give me the valor the courage to fight life I know is a never ending battle,
Give me the ears to hear the songs of far lost moans of desperate souls,
Give me the mysterious touch of Midas that would change all dull into gold,
Give me the feel; the essence of that touch, the stroke when laid knows it all.
Give me the legs that always lead people on highs and lows of all turns of life,
Give me the mind that is so vast, where ideas flow like currents and keeps vision of the past,
Give me the attorney to make time cease, to grant a few breaths and give death at ease,
To lay myself beneath all thorny fears, that people might tread on for all passing years,
To cease the sorrows that flow from their eyes, the sobs that echo clear from their cries.

Woman power!!!

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will”. Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say. The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?" God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed." "You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothesShe wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is theDoorway to her heart - the place where love resides." Among the beauty of all creations, is the very extraordinary creation named a woman. Second to the arrival of man on earth the image of the woman since ages has not faltered. Through enduring times the woman has proved herself eternal and influential in all ages. The woman a flexible epitome of love, of sacrifice and dedication has proved herself eternal irrespective of eras. She has created herself a distinct identity by molding herself into all moulds, and adjusting herself into all needs of time. It is the never ending efforts of this woman clan that created a nun mother like Mother Teresa who years after her death is still remembered by hundreds of hopeful children in whom she instilled inspirations and ideologies to live and survive. Needless of time today’s woman might have become more liberal more demanding and more independent but her nature, her norms, her theologies towards life, her responsibilities and her family remain the same. They say “behind every successful man lies a woman” and “behind every unsuccessful man are his own follies and his short comings”, history is evident that this multi faceted woman if needed has taken men to heights they would have never thought of. She has been their unending strength and moral support even through the direst periods and all the same futile men who have failed to value and honor this gratitude of women have seldom found them selves paving ways let alone reaching their destination. A woman need not be confined to one relation only; it is irrespective of being a mother, a sister, a daughter or a wife or what so ever. This does not mean that man’s existence is crippled without a woman, but nature has it that men and women have been two tyres of a car that have inclined without the aid of another. No matter how strong men are physically, we women supersede men through our strength in morals and our heart, men might be more logical and rationale as compared to the “emotional lot” but all the same women are blessed with this instinct that makes them follow their heart to wards the right irrespective of logics and rationales. The tendency of selfless love towards their family and relatives is found only in a woman, the patience the endurance to undergo even the hardest of situations and all the same wear a smile can be attained by none other than woman. So be proud of what you are, the reason that God has kept you in this world is because you are needed and there are certain tasks to be attained some known and some unknown that the Almighty thinks that only we can attain, we and no one besides us. So take pride in carrying and expressing yourself coz you are the founder a nurturer of a generation and more generations to follow. And as long as the world exists, it’s people live, the identity of a woman will be as ever flowing as the currents of waves, and the depth of her heart will always be as the ocean that keeps within itself a hundred worlds yet unknown to the onlooker.

Where the mind is without fear!

Where the mind is without fear
and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake

A clear insight, more of a prayer given by a very famous poet from Bengal RABINDRANATH TAGORE, the poem is a vivid picture of our current day needs. With the increase in terrorist activities and to add to the very latest massacre of the NISHTER PARK there is a silent cry behind the sobs of the deceased, a pain in the ruthless devour of the souls, an urge in each drop of blood that was spilt of the people martyred, it’s time a revolution did come our way, it’s high time we did see a change that meaningfully and really meant a change. We need a more open and purer surrounding to protect our selves and the frail new generations from the hazards and the toxicity of the blood shed. We have become selfish blood thirsty creatures who think of nothing but them selves we don’t have a single tear, not a single pain and not the least sting for the departed. We cannot create a utopia, it simply does not exist, neither does perfection but the dire need of today is that we utterly want a peaceful, and a more meaningful living, we need more air, more space to breathe the few remaining breaths of our life. We need to come out of this suffocative darkness where everything is so very nauseating, where the world does not only end in sobs and the endless streams of salty water, we need to be more logical, more rationale and more sensitive and less self centered in our approaches towards living. Human eyes wait optimistically to a more brighter morn, a more consoling dawn that can stretch its arms and collect within its warmth the entire ailing humanity, sooth it’s wounds and condole it’s distress. Let us all wish and pray for a new awakening that when each of us opens our eyes we find our selves in a new place of ever widening thoughts and actions, of love peace consideration and humanity, where life means survival not only for ourselves, but for all those who we see are living.!!.

On Marriage

A sensitive relation bonded with the most delicate thread, a thread, that being the most frail can at times become as sturdy and as strong as any metal, a sacred institution that pronounces the union of not two materials but the exquisite amalgamation of two spirits, two souls, two lives, two beings, two entities, two families, two cultures, two traditions, two norms and all facets of life that were identified as single metamorphose into a twosome. A very unique bond second to none other where two entirely different beings vow to be with each other in all terms of hardships, of achievements of joys and sorrows. The magnificent relation that is fabricated by none other than God himself and crowned on the thrones of the heavens embedded in gold the names of the partners much before their meeting and much before their birth. The characteristic that differs man from other living beings is that a man and a woman legalize them selves in presence of many people and undertake within them selves certain responsibilities entitled to each of them by nature. Though not all cases land up in perfection but an ideal nuptial relation would be one that comprises of two like minded people, not necessarily likely natured, who have enough space within their hearts and their wills to accommodate certain short comings of their partners along with the immense virtues they bring along with them. One should comprise the strength to over look at times teach and educate the opposite partner with love and patience. Where happiness is not definable through certain relations only and where togetherness is not an agony but a need, an urge a necessity to be together no matter what and how circumstances take form, their only reason to stay together is the reason above all superficial clauses, and this is the reason of LOVE of UNDERSTANDING that compels each of them to admit and confess that one is certainly crippled without the presence of another. Where one’s sorrow would mean the gloom of another and where the partner’s happiness would only add and multiply the happiness within him. Where leading life is not an obligation but a merry task just like all the casual tasks of our day to day life, where taking care and giving due consideration to the spouse might not mean a heavy hearted burden but a normality and necessity of living just as is breathing, clothing and food. We live in a land totally anti-utopian and against little notions where love would be placed above all the rest but all the same in this bad evil and selfish world we do find selfless, tender and energetic dew drops of love that on attaining even a single ray of light split into an array of seven vibrant colors, bright, colorful, radiant and each a new world in itself, portraying the living union of the essence of togetherness all the same presenting a pleasurable view to the onlooker. To add a tint of humor I am quoting some hilarious anecdote of some people on marriage.

What Is MARRIAGE ???


1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

15. Confucius says: man who sinks into woman's arm soon have arms in woman's sink.

16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

17. Eighty percent of married man cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

19. Marriage is man and women become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.

21. I married Miss right, I just didn't know her first name was Always.

22. it’s not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.

23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, And THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.

25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lights on.

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred letters and they all said the same thing - YOUCAN HAVE MINE.

30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

On Life

Life is a wait..in all aspects in all phases..no human being gets the best out of life, In his entire course of living he waits, sometimes for happiness and at other’s for his destiny to change. But this wait is life long…perhaps as long as his breath, as long as the dark moonless night, as long as the cold appalling autumn that has little to offer him besides console at times not even that. Man is a puppet, a mere subordinate being that lives not because he wants to but because he has to, who strives who yearns not because he wills to but because it his need, like wise an inevitable truth is that life brings with itself many happenings, happiness, glooms, sorrows, and mishaps not because he intends to or wishes to get all these but because it is in accordance to the system of human existence that man gets no doubt, willingly or unwillingly but not by his choice, but because there is a senior supremacy that showers all this for us. He decides for us what we have to get and when, how long man’s certain wait has to last then be it wait for love, for happiness, for achievement and success, wait for food or simple his belated and prolonged wait for just “LIVING”

To my mother

TO MY MOTHER


The silken bond that intact and binds
The eternal touch that forever finds.
Through the direst darkness and the kin,
Beloved mother you are mine.

The identity, the subsistence to which I belong
The renaissance of my every furlong,
Of disparity you showed no sign
Beloved mother you are mine.

The labors you have endured to mould me,
From a wet sloth clay, to an able bodied effigy,
For making me of the most noble figurine
Beloved mother you are mine.

The gems of your eyes, for that profound dexterity,
The melody and harmony in your personality,
For instilling in me a fervent hope and pine,
Beloved mother you are mine.

For the world’s happiness at your feet,
For the tinkles of mirth you may for ever meet,
For gaiety to replace your every whine,
Beloved mother you are mine.
(Hina Zahid)

The word mother is not deficient of any explanation or of any elaboration, a simple word that is a world in itself. The sound of which fills one with emotions and sentiments. Such is the bondage, the essence of the relation that nature has so lovingly created. Since the time we were born to date, there has always been a motive, a driving force that has propelled us forward and that is our “mother”. The most sanctified of all relations on earth, the relation of the mother and the child falls short of language and expressions, the depth of it so intense that man might just feel himself drowned in it.

My first memories of my mother are a clear short stature persona, an individual who taught me “everything”, who walked with me, who grew with me, who aided me, who supported me. In short I have seen my mother metamorphose into almost everything from a teacher to a guide, from a nurse to a friend. I cannot forget her sitting with me the whole night through, tending me like a nurse and praying for me when I was sick. I grew up with the realization of security that she was there, with me, at every step I take. As a child when I fell I saw the pain that lived in her eyes on seeing my fall but at the same time the strong array of valor asking me to act like a warrior and get on my feet again. Time and again she filled in me her little “pieces of mind” to boost me and my inhibitions.
With every move I took I turned around to see her behind me, an effigy of hope and guts, encouraging me to move ahead, face situations challengingly. I saw her eyes glee with merriment at the sight of seeing me succeed. I remember how when time had demanded she had been a stern onlooker, keeping track of my follies and wits, how when desired she had been a strict monitor and sometimes my friend who explained me how matters are to be dealt with. I heard silent murmurs that only asked my well being, the dainty hands that rose in hope of my achievement. Seeing me grow day by day little did I realize then as I know, the fear the anxiousness as to how I would adjust in my new home, the worry if I would be granted a worthy family, the concern if her prayers and my fate would prove to my favor. Even after my marriage I saw questionable eyes always searching mine for answers. Every now and then her inquisitive sight searching in my smiles traces of happiness and eventually giving her heart the relief that her prayers, her strives, her wishes of seeing her daughter forever happy have not turned futile. I have seen her big brown eyes tinkle with tears of happiness at every laughter of mine. How the hands that once nurtured me had always longed to caress my children, shower them with the same love and care and see them being instilled with the same virtues that had once been laced in my own personality by my mentor.

A mother sacrifices her youth, her energies and uses all incentives to make us what we are today. It is because of her endeavor that we make accomplishments in life. She is the silent motivation that moves with us no matter she lives or not. Honestly speaking we pay her not even the quarter of what she instills into us. We at times neglect the paradise under her feet that awaits worthy children who serve their parents. We fail to realize that we owe much more than just words to this creation of God. This mother’s day let us all resolve that it is not only one day that we will henceforth celebrate in gratitude of our mothers, but every day of the year, and every minute of her life…not only tell her…but also make her realize that she is the best, the ether of our existence, the soul to whose subsistence we belong. This one is not a tribute to my mother only who labored day and night for raising me, for making me liable and strong to face the world, for teaching me the principles of life, for giving me an identity that I proudly clutch on to, for giving me such an upbringing that people praise her for and salute her efforts in her absence, this one is for all those mothers of the world who despite the passage of time even today live in the hearts of their children… the memories of a mother are never ever lost from one’s mind, never as long as one lives.

Despite changing notions, even today the children of the world have one cry: “Beloved mother you are mine!”

A NEW AWAKENING

A new new day, a bright new morn,
That gives revival to each passing dawn,
That fills in shades that breathes in life,
That from the world clears all tarnish of strife.

A very new awakening came on my way,
A filament of glee that laced my day,
A tiny little lesson, a moral did I learn,
Brief pleasures, dew drop tears, and naive smiles I earned.

A very pretty girl with locks of gold,
A mere small angel not more than a year old,
With big expressive eyes and complexion fair,
With a narrow forehead that carried her hair.

The glow in her eyes sparkled with the sun,
With each ray as if life was a new, just begun,
Her limited vision, her partial thoughts,
Her confinement to happiness and glum not sought.

The fancy to fore look at only the good that came,
The ignorance to know life was a cunning game,
Her laughter tinkles her wide mouthed smiles,
The dews in her eyes, the echoes went far to miles.

A lesson I learnt from this little fairy,
Sorrows brings this world little moments of merry,
Little instances in life she collected of glee,
Out of the tumultuous agony she brought me.